Dr. Deepika Chopra, psychologist and author of The Power of Real Optimism, says optimism is not a personality trait reserved for naturally positive people.
Below, Dr. Deepika explains what real optimism is, why it can be strengthened, and eight ways to practice it.
“Research suggests that only about 25% of the traits associated with optimism are inherited,” Dr, Deepika explains.
Dr. Deepika says it can be as small as peeling a perfectly ripe tangerine or your morning matcha.
Dr. Deepika explains that the goal isn’t believing every day will be easy.
What if optimism is less about expecting the best and more about not assuming the worst? Dr. Deepika Chopra, psychologist and author of The Power of Real Optimism, says optimism is not a personality trait reserved for naturally positive people. It is a way of thinking that can be practiced. “Our brains don’t change through intensity. They change through consistency,” Dr. Deepika says. Try to change everything at once, and you may overwhelm your nervous system. When that happens, change can be perceived as a threat to your body. The people who actually transform their thinking tend to engage in a handful of tiny, repeatable habits that compound. Below, Dr. Deepika explains what real optimism is, why it can be strengthened, and eight ways to practice it.
What does optimism really mean?
Optimism and positive thinking are often used interchangeably, but Dr. Deepika draws an important distinction between them. “Real optimism has nothing to do with pretending everything is fine,” she says. It’s the ability to stay engaged with reality while remaining open to possibility. Her rule of thumb is that reality without possibility becomes despair, and possibility without reality becomes denial. Optimism lives in the middle. The good news is you don’t have to be born optimistic. “Research suggests that only about 25% of the traits associated with optimism are inherited,” Dr, Deepika explains. “The rest is shaped by our experiences, environment, and the way we’ve learned to interpret what’s happening around us. Because of neuroplasticity, our brains remain capable of change throughout our lives.” This is why Dr. Deepika describes optimism as a muscle.
“Every time you choose a more adaptive response to a setback, we’re strengthening those pathways,” she tells us. “It isn’t about becoming unrealistically positive. It’s about becoming more resilient over time.”
The Optimist’s Checklist
1. Give yourself something to look forward to
Before you reach for your phone or mentally open the day’s to-do list, say one thing you are genuinely looking forward to out loud. Dr. Deepika says it can be as small as peeling a perfectly ripe tangerine or your morning matcha. She explains the logic behind it: “Our brains naturally have a negativity bias. They’re constantly scanning for what’s wrong or what might go wrong. This tiny practice gently reminds your brain that there’s also something worth anticipating.” You are not trying to convince yourself that the day will be perfect. You are simply giving your brain more than one place to direct its attention.
2. Check in with your body before you react.
When something stressful hits, Dr. Deepika pauses and asks herself, “What am I noticing in my body right now?” Tight jaw, tense shoulders, shallow breath? “Just bringing awareness to those sensations creates a little space between what happened and how I respond.” This brief pause gives you a chance to choose a response rather than handing the decision over to your first reaction.
3. Play “what else can be true?”
Dr. Deepika calls herself “someone who is not naturally an optimist” and admits, “I worst-case-scenario plan a lot.” Her workaround when the worst-case thought shows up? She challenges herself to name the best-case outcome, plus two neutral ones. An unanswered email could mean someone is upset with you. It could also mean they are busy, have not made a decision, or simply forgot to reply. “Even if you believe that the worst-case scenario is the one that is most likely, challenging yourself to be flexible and play out other scenarios is cognitive flexibility at its finest.” You do not have to talk yourself into believing the best-case scenario. The practice is simply to recognize that the worst one is not the only explanation available.
4. Ask how a hard situation is expecting you to adapt.
When life changes the plan, many of us focus on getting back to how things were. Dr. Deepika says, “Whenever life throws me something unexpected, I try to ask myself, ‘What is this situation asking me to become?’ That one question shifts me from resistance into curiosity.” “Psychological flexibility doesn’t mean liking what’s happening,” she explains. “It means staying open enough to grow because of it.” The situation may ask you to become more patient, direct, resourceful, or willing to change course. You may not know the answer immediately. Curiosity alone can loosen the grip of resistance.
5. Attach the new habit to something you already do.
Dr. Deepika’s advice for anyone too busy for a new optimism routine: “Anchor a tiny practice to something they’re already doing.” Three slow breaths while the coffee brews, unclenching your jaw while washing your hands, asking “How do I want to show up today” before opening your laptop. “The best wellness practices are the ones you’ll actually repeat.” Connecting a new behavior to an existing one gives it a built-in reminder. It also removes the pressure to find extra time, create the ideal setting, or wait until life becomes less busy.
6. Question your thoughts before you believe them.
Not every thought is a fact. “Our brains generate thousands of thoughts every day, and not all of them are true,” Dr. Deepika says. “Many are simply predictions.” When a thought shows up, like ‘Everything is falling apart,’ the next move is to ask, ‘Is this a fact, or is this my brain trying to predict the future?’ “That tiny pause changes everything,” she says. “It creates space for curiosity instead of catastrophizing.” Over time, Dr. Deepika says, this practice can make us less reactive, more emotionally flexible, and better able to navigate uncertainty.
7. Look for the tiny, repeatable version of wellness, not the elaborate one.
The most useful version of a habit is rarely the most impressive one. It is the version you can still manage on a rushed morning, during a demanding week, or when your motivation has disappeared. Dr. Deepika says, “I think we’ve made wellness feel far more complicated and performative than it needs to be.” “Small moments practiced consistently have an incredible way of changing how we experience our days,” she says.
8. Build tolerance for discomfort instead of avoiding it.
One of the strongest predictors of resilience is psychological flexibility, which Dr. Deepika describes as “our ability to stay open to new information, tolerate discomfort, and adapt when life doesn’t go according to plan.” Resilience does not mean enjoying hard things or becoming unaffected by them. It means being able to experience discomfort without immediately avoiding it, reacting to it, or deciding it will last forever.
A real change in outlook rarely arrives with a clear before-and-after. Dr. Deepika explains that the goal isn’t believing every day will be easy. It’s about trusting that even on the hard, uncertain, disappointing days, you have the capacity to adapt and find meaning along the way. Pick two or three practices from this list, attach them to something you already do, and give them a few weeks. Eventually, optimism begins to feel less like an exercise and more like a muscle.
